芳踪难觅（4）

    sometimes i ht be in one of those cars. i  for just one person. i couldn’t make myself stretch out or sleep in the middle. i stayed on my side and pretended that you hts i could almost hear you breathing. i lad you ine . i kne. i kneements myself. it had just been her and i, and rooing to bring home a girl. i couldn’t say anything to ansht. i  lorave, i didn’t have anyone standing ht i cried. i cried because i didn’t have you  ht. i didn’t have a hand to hold or lips to kiss. nothing. i’d never had that and perhaps never  i looked at myself in the mirror. the etting deeper. my hair had thinned and receded. i hoped you  in me hurts.

    “if you don’t smile for me i’m going to have to turn off the tv and turn out the lights,” the nurse  to make me do silly5 things like smile or laugh. she has never felt pain in her life.

    leave me alone.

    “ok, there goes the tv. good night, sir.” she turns off the lights and shuts the door behind her. my small bedroom disappears into the dark. i can hear her footsteps as she y heart. a tear sloy pilloes quiet.

    i’m alone.

    it’s dark and i’m alone.

    e, love?

    i waited for you.

    i waited for you.</p>

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